Because You’re Worth It. UMM, in a cake.”, 5. Life is too short to remove USB safely. “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” – Unknown. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. “When you’re at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say, “Why, are you hiding stuff?””, 14. You’ll discover the funniest lines ever on friends, family, love, women, men, fun (with great images). “What starts with ‘P’ and ends with ‘ORN’? “You talk so much shit I don’t know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper”, 23. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. “I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with red bull instead of water. A Diamond is Forever. 13. Even the cake was in tiers.”, 62. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. “Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that makes it better not to be single. If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” – Winston Churchill funny quote, 28. “Isn’t it funny how red, white & blue represent freedom…. I don’t mind and you don’t matter.”, 1. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 14. The rest are too expensive, Homework because 7 hours of school wasn’t enough, Don’t tell me the skies are the limits when there are footprints on the moon, Pretending to concentrate in class so the teacher won’t ask you a question. The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. “If girls always treated each other like we do when we’re drunk in the girl’s bathroom then the world would be a much happier place.”. Growing up is amazing, until you get old! These Short funny quotes & images will seriously make you laugh out loud! 11. So I threw a coconut on his face. looking for the best short funny pictures quotes and images Sayings about life, friends, love & family with Images. “You know you’re old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone you get to the year and you have to spin that bitch like you’re on wheel of fortune.”, Looking for the most funny quotes today. Read our List of Funny Jokes and our Funny Pick Up Lines. I just don’t like the thought of being gone so long! All you have to do is choose the correct place to pop them and not end up being inappropriate. “The best memories come from bad ideas done with best friends.”, 56. Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. “I almost gave a fuck scared the shit out myself..”, 63. Life is a bitch so learn how to fuck it. “If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”, 58. I’m white, black, and Asian”.”, 21. “The most dangerous animal in the world… Is a smiling woman sitting in silence”, 60. Funniest saying. “Life is not a fairy tale. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. I don’t speak assholian.”, 38. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.”, 15. If not, it’s not worth it.”, 24. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you, All my life, I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Which way did you come in? Enjoy Life Quotes. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. 56 Short Inspirational Quotes And Short Inspirational Sayings, 144 Happy Birthday Wishes And Happy Birthday Funny Sayings, 38 Cute Life Quotes That Will Instantly Make You Smile, 56 Good Morning Inspirational Quotes With Beautiful Images, 60 Really Cute Good Morning Quotes for Her & Morning Love Messages, 44 Motivational Inspirational Quotes About Life & Success, Copyright © 2018 - 2020 Image May Be Subject to Copyright to Respectful Owners. Some of the most popular of these taglines have seen mocked up versions preformed on their catch phrases such as, “Got Milk?”. Save the planet, we have nowhere else to go! Notify me of follow-up comments by email. “Welcome to the dark side, where all the fun stuff happens.”, 37. 12. Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers, and they never seem to fail. 1. “There are 3 kinds of people in this world. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. “How do I like my eggs? If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet? “Who the fuck took my… Oh, here it is…”, 50. We’ve All Done Something Stupid. “I am sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! “Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store.”, 73. 5. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. They’re like: “Dude, racism is stupid. “You live, learn, and upgrade.”. I'm not clumsy, The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way. “Oh, I’m sorry. “I don’t understand you. So He Has Time for Student Government. Alcohol doesn't solve any problem, but neither does milk. “No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.”, 76. It isn’t me… I think you’re a fucking idiot.”, 51. Like Darth Vader, Only Prettier. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Dear math, I’m not a therapist, solve your own problems. “My teacher pointed me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!” I got detention after asking which end.”, 49. “If you ran like your mouth, You’d be in good shape.”, 3. 15. Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. 3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions. Birthdays are good for you. Below are the 77 Funny Slogans & Sayings. ”, 2. “I may not be perfect but atleast I’m not you”, 34. “It was an emotional wedding. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Me: Me: is that the sun”, 47. Inspirational funny quotes from movies for Facebook & Tumblr. “I don’t understand why people have to ‘get ready’ for bed… I’m always ready for bed!”, 33. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee. “Name”. Jun 10, 2013 by Brandon Gaille. “The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.”, 67. When you're wrong, no one forgets. “If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.”, 29. ‘Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.’. Bringing out the best in each other! I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. “I’m a pretty nice person, but I also realize that if there were and asshole championship, I would place respectfully in my weight division.”, 26. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control, The best things in life are free. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Then walk into a pole.”, 55. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. Now put it over your mouth.”, 27. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. (adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({}); 101 Catchy Clothing Slogans and Clothing Taglines, 250 Catchy Christmas Slogans, Taglines & Christmas Phrases You’ll Love, 125 Catchy Student Council Slogans and Creative Taglines, 40 Funny Student Council Campaign Slogans. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake I feel better already.”, 48. I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens, Dear math grow up and solve your Problems, There’s life without Facebook and Internet? We hope these funny sayings made you laugh, if you are looking for similar content for more fun, take a look at our Funny Quotes or Funny Jokes. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest. “Sometimes, I use big words I don’t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.”, 54. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. Don’t drink while driving – you might spill the beer. “Name”. “Teacher: The test is very easy. You’re glitter glue.”, 4.

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